A parent demands a one-on-one aide. A teacher fears a complaint can cost them their job.

For school administrators, those moments can spur a boatload of anxiety.

Presenters Kindel Mason and Ramona Lee challenged attendees at an Idaho Association of School Administrators breakout session Monday afternoon to rethink how they approach special education conflict.

Their main argument was that effective leadership depends as much on strong communication as it does on legal compliance.

“You’re the one that sets the tone,” said Mason, a BlazerWorks special education adviser. “You have to regulate yourself, your staff and keep things calm.”

State complaints involving special education rose from 53 in the 2023-24 school year to 73 this past school year. Mediation requests rose from 27 to 47, while due process hearings climbed from 13 to 21 in the same time frame.

Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in special education, Mason encouraged administrators to see complaints as opportunities to improve their schools rather than to become defensive.

Sometimes, a complaint can reveal gaps in a school’s procedures, he said.

Mason urged attendees to look beyond what parents are requesting and understand the concern behind a demand, pointing to an example of a parent seeking one-on-one aide after a student wandered away from a playground.

He noted that the parent’s request stemmed from concerns about the child’s safety, not simply a desire for a one-on-one aide.

By identifying the real issue, schools may avoid assigning unnecessary services.

Lee, a former West Ada special education director, recommended using facilitators to improve communication before disputes escalate.

“I don’t really even see facilitation as a dispute,” Lee said. “I see more prevention of it because it allows for smoother communication and the parent to be less fearful.”

Among other strategies discussed were documenting communication, avoiding lengthy email exchanges during conflict and bringing in neutral facilitators early.

The session concluded with a reminder that schools and families share the same goal.

“We all care about the child,” Lee said. “Let’s all come together so we’re all pulling in the same direction rather than pulling apart from each other and causing tension.”