I hate doing my kid's homework, a mom's blog

Resources to help students plan for their future

October 31, 2019

Raising kids is a challenge. 

I already have two kids in college and I still worry about properly preparing my other five kids for life after high school. It’s hard to know how to teach the many life skills and lessons they will need to become successful adults, while also keeping up with the regular demands of school and extracurricular activities. 

Anytime I find resources to help me in my endeavor to raise healthy and successful adults, I am eager to share it with other parents. Recently, I discovered a wealth of information available on the Next Steps Idaho webpage. I knew Next Steps was the government program responsible for direct admissions, but I didn’t know about the other tools and information available to younger students. 

Here are the ones I found most helpful;

  1. A printable checklist for students in grades 8-12, offering advice and an annual simple ‘to-do’ list to help each student understand how to prepare for graduation and post secondary education or career options. It lists basic and easy to follow suggestions like; talk about future goals, make a plan for paying for college, the importance of reading during the summer, etc.
  2. The Future Finder quiz to help kids (or adults) discover their strengths and possible career choices. I took the test and discovered three potential careers that fit my skill set; anesthesiologist, social and community service manager, and EMT. Once my second grader leaves for college in 10 years, maybe I’ll consider pursuing one of these careers!  
  3. Scholarship search information. Looking for applicable scholarships is a lot of work, and it is always nice to have a starting point. 

Hopefully these resources can help us help our kids plan for their future. Now all we (the parents) have to do, is teach them how to manage their finances, shop and cook for themselves, resolve conflicts, change a tire, find a job and do the laundry. Best of luck! 

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It makes my heart happy to know where my kids are at all times

October 25, 2019

My kids tend to be on their phones in the evenings a lot. They claim they need their phones to do homework and until recently, I really didn’t have a way of checking if this was true. I figured they were probably wasting a portion of their time on non-homework related phone things, but there was no way for me to know.

After a lot of peer pressure from my kids, I switched from an Android to an iPhone and set up a family plan. With the iPhone family plan, I can set app limits, check screen time and even turn off individual apps at a specific time every day. All of these tools are available on any iPhone, for free, and without downloading any special app.

If you are a tech savvy parent, you probably already know how to do this. Bravo! You can skip the rest of this post and gloat in your tech knowledge. Maybe go have a bowl of ice-cream and tell your kids how cool you are.  

If you are more like me and unfamiliar with the tools available to parents and family members on iPhones, then read on.

Family Sharing

  1. Have your kids sit next to you with their iPhones to set up family sharing. If your kids are too busy, or you want to do this on your own, you will need to log into their phone.
  2. Open up the settings tab and log into your Apple account.
  3. Click on the family sharing tab and add family members.

For detailed instructions, you can click here.

Next, you will need to set up screen time. Once your kids are on your family plan, you do not need their phones to set up screen time.

Screen Time

  1. Open up your settings tab.
  2. Click on screen time.
  3. Scroll down to select family members (you can also set up screen time for yourself, if you are trying to limit your personal usage).
  4. You will need to select a pin number to access screen time. Make sure it is one your kids don’t already know, or can guess.
  5. Select a set downtime to turn off all apps (or select apps). You can even customize this for each day (I allow my kids more time on the weekends).
  6. You can also set limits on specific apps (ie. YouTube, Mario Kart, Clash Royale, Instagram, Snapchat…).
  7. My favorite thing to check is See All Activity. With this tab, I can see exactly how much time was spent on each app by day or week. It helps me to know what apps I should limit and where my kids spend their time.

Here is the link with specific instructions.

My other favorite feature is called Find My. You can use it to find your phone (from another iPhone) or to find your family members on your family sharing account.

Location Sharing

  1. You and your kids need to go to settings and open your Apple ID (the top tab with your profile picture).
  2. Click on Find My
  3. Turn on the Share My Location tab
  4. Tap on each family member you have listed (that you previously added to your family sharing) to share your location with that person. Your kids will have to do this in order to share their location with you.
  5. Select Share Indefinitely… and voula, now you can see where your kids are and they can see where you are. No more texting and calling to see when your kids will be home (this works both ways, now my kids can see when I’m grocery shopping or just wandering around Target).
  6. You can also set up your phone to notify you when your child (or husband, if you have him on your account) leaves school, a friend’s house, work, etc. by clicking on the Find My app and the family members name.

Here are more detailed instructions to set up location share.

Now, if you are a family of Droid users or mixed Droid and Apple users, you can still set up location sharing on Google Maps.

Location Share with Google Maps

  1. You both need to have Google Maps downloaded on your phones’ (which requires a Google account, but you should have one if you use Gmail)
  2. Click on the menu side bar and then click Location Sharing
  3. You can add people and choose to share for one hour or until you turn it off.
  4. Google will email you quarterly to ask you if you still want to keep sharing your location with the individuals you have on your location share.

The best part of Google Maps location sharing, is every time I use the map for directions, I see a small icon of each one of my kids’ faces and where they are located. It makes my mom heart happy to know where my kids are at all times.

Here is the Google Maps location sharing directions.

Happy parenting!

P.S. Don’t let your kids know I told you about screen time.

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How do you talk to your kids about drugs and alcohol?

October 16, 2019

My second grader spent a good part of the morning looking for something to wear that was neon colored. Unfortunately, she left for school this morning with boring, non-neon clothes.

Tomorrow, I expect we’ll have a similar problem, as she looks for tie-dyed clothes to wear. Sadly, our house doesn’t have a lot (none) of neon or tie-dye clothes lying around.

This week is Red Ribbon Week at the elementary school. Every day the students are encouraged to dress to match a drug-free theme. The rest of the week’s themes should be easier; Wednesday is crazy hair day, Thursday is pajama day and Friday is school spirit wear.

Besides the fun of dressing up, teaching students about the dangers of drugs and alcohol abuse is very important. It can be especially tricky talking with elementary age children.

After last year’s red ribbon week, my first grader was extremely worried when she saw her older brother take a couple Ibuprofen pills. She looked up at him and asked why he was taking drugs. It was a great question that started a conversation about the numerous good and bad qualities of safe and illegal drugs.

Having conversations with children and teenagers about drugs and alcohol can be difficult. Every family has different views, beliefs and rules surrounding these topics. My husband and I prefer to give our children as much information as possible.

I like to explain how drugs and alcohol affect our bodies and brains (this Infographics video is very interesting about drinking on an empty stomach), what causes addictions, and why people choose to use drugs or alcohol. Simply telling my kids to ‘say no’ is not enough. I want them to know how to make healthy choices. I want them to know they can ask questions. And most of all, I want my kids to be safe.

The CDC reports that 11 percent of all alcohol consumed in the United States is drunk by people ages 12-20, and 90 percent of underage drinkers are binge drinking. Because I want my kids to be safe, and because I know this statistic, I also tell my children that they can always call me if they have been drinking. I don’t want them drinking, but I really don’t want my children to drive or be in a car with a drunk driver.

On the Red Ribbon website it states: Children of parents who talk to their teens regularly about drugs are 42 percent less likely to use drugs than those who don’t, yet only a quarter of teens report having these conversations.

Do you talk to your kids about drugs and alcohol? How does your family talk about it?

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Our to-do list for selecting a college

October 3, 2019

Choosing the right college can be a challenge. My senior has been working for a few weeks to compile a list of potential colleges and relevant information, to help him make the decision.

A lot of parents and their teens struggle to know how to choose the right college, so I thought I would share the process we use to choose the right school:

  1. Check for the senior’s most updated GPA (either through the school’s web page or by calling the school counselor).
  2. Obtain the senior’s SAT or ACT score (collegeboard.org for the SAT or act.org for the ACT test).
  3. Help your senior choose a list of 5-10 schools that admit students within your senior’s GPA and SAT scores, with a few “for sure” schools and a few “reach” schools.
  4. List tuition, housing and the total cost of attendance for each school (go to each school’s website to gather this information).
  5. Check the Western Undergraduate Exchange to see if any of the potential colleges offer discounted tuition for out-of-state students, and check the requirements.
  6. Check each school for potential scholarships.
  7. Check each school’s application costs (usually around $50 each) and application requirements (some schools require an essay and/or letters of recommendations).
  8. Check each school for early application deadlines (sometimes applying early can help students who have borderline GPA/SAT numbers get admitted). The deadline for early applications is usually Nov. 1.
  9. Beginning Oct. 1, fill out the FASFA, regardless of your family’s financial status. Most schools require this information to determine tuition and scholarship information.
  10. List any other information that might be important to your family (hours from home, degrees or special programs, number of students on campus, weather, public transportation, school ranking).
  11. Create a “to do” list with appropriate deadlines and check the list regularly.

How do you help your senior apply for college? What factors are important to your family?


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How have Idaho’s free programs helped your future college student?

September 30, 2019

The State Board of Education has spent over $130 million dollars on programs to encourage high school students to go to college and get a degree. Here’s how these dollars have affected my high school senior:

Before the beginning of my son’s freshman year, he met with his counselor and asked for help filling his schedule with concurrent credit classes. He knew the state offered each high school student over $4,000 in Advanced Opportunity funds to cover the cost of college courses, and he wanted to take full advantage of the free-to-him college money. The credits he has currently earned will cover more than one full year of college, essentially saving him $20,000+ in expenses (the cost to attend Boise State University, including room and board).

His sophomore and junior years he took the PSAT and later in the spring of his junior year, he took the SAT. If the state were not providing these tests for free, at the school, during a normal school day, our family would have had to cover the cost for him to take the PSAT ($17) and the SAT ($49.50). The state has been paying for students to take the PSAT and the SAT, since 2011, with the hopes of increasing the number of high school students who go on to college and get a degree.

And finally, in the mail this week, my son received a letter from the State Board of Education, informing him of all the Idaho public colleges and universities where he’s been accepted, without even applying. This is called the Direct Admissions Program. This program compiles every Idaho public school student’s GPA and SAT scores and pre-admits students, if they meet each school’s criteria.

If my son chooses to go to one of the listed schools, he can go directly to the Apply Idaho website and submit the necessary paperwork to finalize his acceptance to the school of his choice. The application process is also — you guessed it — free.

Each one of these programs has made it easier and much cheaper for my son to pursue his post-secondary education. They have saved him and our family tens of thousands of dollars and have made graduating from college a little bit easier.

Have these programs helped your future college student?


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My schools are making changes to protect kids and staff

September 20, 2019

I hate the amount of school shootings that seem to occur on a regular basis. I’m not sure if there is any way to totally prevent these types of incidents, but Idaho school districts are trying.

Over the past two years, the West Ada District has worked to install locks and intercom systems at the school’s main entrances. At the middle and high schools, students are required to wear their student ID on a lanyard around their neck. These school ID’s are used to unlock the school’s main doors.

If a visitor wants to enter the school, they have to ring the intercom and explain the reason for their visit. The school’s office staff can also see the visitor through the camera and can choose to buzz the door open.

My child’s elementary school went one step further to protect the students and teachers. They now require parents and visitors to bring a valid driver’s license or government ID if they want to enter the school.

The flyer sent out to parents states; “The scanning of the government ID insures schools maintain a log of all visitors and instantly checks each visitors data (ID photo, name, date of birth, and last four digits of ID) against a database of registered sex offenders in all 50 states and a data base containing information regarding any court ordered protections, custodial arrangements, etc.”

This is so smart. I’m glad the school is working to find ways to keep our children safe from potential shooters and child sex offenders.

What safety measures does your school have in place?

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Early release for seniors is an unfortunate waste

September 16, 2019

My high school senior has early release. That means he gets done with school every day at 1:07 p.m. That’s right, 1:07 … except on late start Wednesdays, then it’s 1:09.

Ideally, he could use his early release time to work and save for college, but for student athletes that’s not an option. My son needs to be back at the school for practice before 3 p.m.

Normally, he comes swaggering through the door by 1:30 p.m. and heads to the kitchen for a second lunch. When he’s done eating, he goes upstairs for a nap or some down time on the Xbox. Sometimes, he even brings home other seniors with early release.

Right now, it’s 1:45 p.m. and I have two seniors upstairs watching TV, waiting for football practice.

He knows he could be doing more productive things with his mid-day free time, but there aren’t a lot of opportunities. He could be working on his college applications, or job applications, but he prefers to do that in the evening. He is already taking honors, concurrent credit and AP classes, along with sports, so he chooses to use his time to relax. When football is over, he hopes to find a job.

I wanted to make sure I understood why some seniors had early release, so I contacted the school. The counselor explained the graduation requirements and the number of credits needed to participate in sports.

Our high school, like many in Idaho, offers students release time to take a religious course off campus. Because my son did not take any religious courses, he is several credits ahead. He also took some high school classes in middle school, bumping him up a few more credits.

I asked why they didn’t encourage him to graduate a semester early. The counselor explained, he could not take all the senior requirements in his first semester. In order to graduate, seniors are required to take a full year of math, English, and government classes along with completing a senior project.

If my son decides not to participate in any school sports next semester, he could be done with school at 10:52 a.m., or go to school every other day! If he does want to play sports, he would need to take an additional class (not required for graduation) and stay at school until 1:07 p.m., like he is now. It would be great if he could take additional concurrent credit classes, but he has already taken all of the courses the school has to offer.

Early release is an unfortunate waste of educational opportunities. The counselor informed me nearly 80 seniors have early release this year. When I asked what options were available for seniors like my son, she suggested getting a job or taking online college classes. The online courses could even be paid with government Fast Forward funds, provided the student has any left. The school counselors could help him look for online classes, but he would have to go home to take the class. The school does not have any teachers available for seniors who want to stay at school to take online classes.

Maybe early release helps prevent senioritis. Maybe most kids get jobs and work experience with their free time. Or maybe, they just go home and relax, enjoying their last year of ease before adulthood comes rushing in.

Does your school have early release for seniors?

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Seems crazy to allow kids to attend school with head lice

September 6, 2019

When I was in elementary school, I got lice. I don’t remember how I got it (or more accurately, who I got it from) or how long I had it, but I wasn’t allowed to attend school until the lice were gone.

My mom spent hours washing my hair with special shampoo and combing through every strand of hair with a small metal comb. I remember vividly laying on her lap in the backyard, so she could painstakingly comb, while I painstakingly cried. I hated it and I’m sure my mom hated it, too.

Once my mom thought she had gotten rid of the lice, she took me back to school. Before I could return to school, I had to be checked by the school nurse. The nurse carefully searched through my head and discovered more lice and I was sent home, crying. My mother decided it would be easier and less painful to cut my hair short, rather than washing and combing through my long hair again. After my haircut and more rounds of shampoo and combing, I was finally cleared to go back to school.

Fortunately, my children have never had lice. When my family lived in a smaller Idaho school district, I would frequently receive notifications informing parents that someone at the school had lice. The notification listed treatment suggestions and information about how to check for lice.

I have not received any similar notifications since moving into the West Ada School District. I thought I hadn’t received any head lice notifications because my children had not been exposed to lice at the school. Nope.

There is no policy in the West Ada School District prohibiting kids from attending school with lice, or informing parents about kids at the school being infected with lice. I checked the district website and it says …

“HEAD LICE are tiny insects that live on the human body, typically found in the hair. They spread by head to head contact or sharing clothing or personal items like hats/brushes. Student may attend school, treatment with a lice shampoo and removal of all nits is recommended.”

I was shocked to discover this, so I called my child’s elementary school to see if their school policy was different. The nurse just directed me back to the district website for information.

My friend has children in the Boise School District, and she informed me that her school also allows children to attend school with lice.

It seems crazy to allow kids to attend school with head lice. It seems equally crazy that there is no policy to inform parents of the potential for head lice exposure. If my children are exposed to lice at school, I’d like to know as soon as possible. I don’t want my kids to have to endure the same painful memories of head lice I had as a kid.

Do you know your school’s policy on head lice?

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How do you feel about dress codes? 

August 28, 2019

My eleven-year-old started middle school this year. She was apprehensive about the first day, not because she was going to a new school with new teachers and a totally different schedule, but because she was worried about the dress code.

When her older sister attended the same middle school two years ago, she was humiliated by a male teacher for not abiding by dress code. We had just moved and she was new to the school, had a broken arm and was wearing a sleeveless shirt (to fit over the cast).

To help her younger sister avoid the same embarrassing fate, she warned her sister about the middle school dress code, and the strict guidelines. My sixth grader’s fear of being called out for her clothing choices made starting middle school a little nerve wrecking.

I have done my best to buy clothing that is school appropriate, but it’s difficult to find shorts that are long enough for my very tall and thin daughter. Someday she will love being tall and thin, but right now, finding clothes that fit her waist and are long enough for school dress code is a challenge. It seems her only choices are Bermuda shorts or long skirts, neither of which she likes to wear.

Last year, we didn’t struggle with dress code issues because my girls were in elementary and high school. Both schools have a dress code, but do not make a practice of calling kids out and sending them home if they do not conform. There was no looming fear about a teacher noticing hem lines and sleeve length. My kids wore what they wanted and enjoyed school, and it was wonderful.

School dress codes are a problem, because they are inherently sexist. My boys have never had to worry about their pants being too tight or their shirts being too low. They have never had to have the length of their shorts examined by a school teacher or administrator. Dress codes mostly dictate how a female should or shouldn’t dress, implying responsibility for how their clothing makes others feel.

If we want to teach our kids how to be responsible, shouldn’t we start by teaching them ownership for how they treat others? Shouldn’t schools let the parents be responsible for their children’s clothing choices?

An angry mother, who’s daughter was sent home for wearing a tank top, forwarded me this model dress code policy produced by Oregon’s National Organization for Women. It outlines a safe, non-sexist, approach to school dress codes along with guidelines for enforcement. She is in the process of meeting with her child’s school administrators in the hopes of changing the school dress code. I plan to email my school district with a similar request.

How do you feel about your school’s dress code?


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How do you feel about youth sports?

August 8, 2019

My kids are getting excited for the first day of school. Not so much about going to class and doing homework, but because they enjoy being with their friends and playing school sports.

I have two kids in middle school this year. They both want to play school sports (cross country and football). As I was browsing the school’s athletic website for information, there was a link to a TED talk. The athletic director encouraged parents visiting the web site to take a minute to watch the clip,called the Changing the Game Project.

From this 14-minute video, I learned seven-of-10 kids drop out of organized sports by the time they turn 13. Kids are told they need to play one sport year-round in order to have a spot on the team and to be competitive. The parents and coaches pressure young athletes to focus on winning and perfection, rather than enjoying the sport.

My kids have felt this pressure. When I asked my 7-year-old if she wanted to play soccer this year, she said, “I can’t play soccer, I don’t know how. And besides, all of the other kids have already been playing for years.” My sister’s kids also experienced the intense pressure to perform well in sports. After nearly a lifetime of playing baseball, my nephew decided to give it up in high school. He said he was burnt out.

The end of the TED talk encouraged parents to change how they treat their kids’ sporting events. Instead of breaking down their performance, play-by-play, all we need to say is, “I love watching you play.” That’s it.

I don’t live under any illusion that my kids will become professional athletes. I just want my kids to enjoy being physically active. I want them to try new sports, even if they are not good at them. Even so, I am guilty of putting too much pressure on my kids, and talking about how they could improve. I was glad to learn a better way to respond to my kids.

How do you feel about youth sports? Has the pressure to “be the best” discouraged your kids from playing?


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